apple slingshot – 4 Princes and Me

It’s December, which means it’s time for a Christmas Tree Saga from yours truly. But honestly, the drama just wasn’t there, this year, even though I chose a) the biggest tree on the lot and certainly b) the tallest of our short lives.

I dressed for the occasion

We rocked up the other day and it was still November because Husband’s travel meant he’d be away the first two weekends in December. Last year the road to perdition was muddy as fuck but being at the beginning of the festive season meant other people would get the muddy end of the stick, er trunk. Anyhoo, it was glorious outside and the kids ran around after critiquing the cider.

Aside from choosing the mobile phone tower, again, I felt like there was less to choose from, this year. In two years it looks like there’ll be a bumper crop, but I cast my eye back to the welcoming scene at the door and Husband inwardly groaned, his back twinged in anticipation.

No, not that one

It was pre-cut and trying to catch our attention from the get-go with that seductive pose. The kids ran off the sling-shot while Husband and I had a war of eye-rolls.

Someone copped an inadvertent apple in the nuts

Everyone came to investigate and agreed that save for the mobile phone tower, it probably was, or had been, the tallest tree on the lot. The potential problem would be baling.

And carrying.

And getting it home.

But not necessarily in that order.

Anyhoo, we made it! The tree is up, no divorce in sight, and I even managed to get a few lights close to the top,

though the star never had a chance.

Merry Christmas, y’all!

Tomorrow is the 1st of December but the weather is supposed to set in, so since there was no bmx this weekend, we decided to get the Christmas tree.
We went to the same farm that we have visited for the last 2 years; it’s close, has cidar, candy canes and cookies (none gluten free), and also wine for purchase! Today we walked to the furthest corner of the lot and picked a tree in comparatively short order, then waited and waited as apparently, the guy on the four wheeler had forgotten about us.
Anyhoo, eventually he cut it down and wheeled it down to the cozy corner, more candy canes and cookies, and wine, then husband oversaw the bailing, while I milled around and put nearly 3yo in the car.
Cue the screaming.
6.5 and 5yos are at the apple sling,

slinging each other or generally fighting or something, that has resulted in 6.5yo having a bloody nose and all and sundry rushing over. No harm done really, but 5yo was sent to the car to at least be out of the way, poor guilty sausage that he appeared to be. We eventually calmed down his brother and cleaned him up and got an ice pack to staunch the flow, and swapped stories about brotherly love.

Husband eventually lashed the tree to the roof, and we drove away and everyone else heaved a sigh of relief as our tail lights faded. Then on the way home, the story comes out that the sling shot was not actually part of the plot. 5yo pegged the apple at his brothers gob, and the rest is history. Wtf? 6.5yo can be very annoying to 5yo at times, and some if those times result in fisticuffs, but obviously not when there are apples at hand.
Fast forward to boys wolfing down corn chips and husband struggling with a grand fucking tree in the twilight while I ty to stay out of his way and not piss him off more than I already have by choosing the largest tree imaginable. He suggests beer, all is forgiven.
But the problem remains of how to move the bastard.

The trolley was useless, a moving wheel base was only marginally less so. So far the tree is still bailed, and awaiting further action outside the front door. Husband is loathe to wield the chainsaw in darkness (isn’t that why we pay for electricity?) to either shorten the stump, reduce the circumference to a size able to be jammed into the tree stand, or even just to make the tree a smidgen lighter. Boo.
Fast forward through fighting over what to eat at dinner and sobbing over bedtimes to relaxing, *sigh*.
Merry Christmas peeps.