A Baby Shower 

I volunteered to manage the upcoming baby shower in my office because a)everyone is way busier than I am, doing things, and b) I love organising shit like that. I don’t necessarily like standing up and directing, unless the eyes peering at me belong to under 10s and I’ve got an adult beverage in my hand, but I suppose I’ve got to put my big girl pants on sometimes and just talk, already, seeing as how I’m totes a famous author, these days.

I asked about a theme for the baby shower and was hesitantly told “Batman”. Dad is a Mexican fella and I’m a fast-talking aussie, cue the smiling and nodding when you can’t understand wtf I’m saying. Anyhoo, Batman is as good as any…

My office is full of busy folk, so I need focused activity before collars are slightly loosened and advice for the impending doom parents-to-be is forthcoming. But I also need to set the tone, so I had a few fun things taped up, and a fun (and easy) craft that even the super busy big wigs could be evil-eyed into participating in. I found a baby chandelier (omg, thats totes a thing), in a Batman theme! It worked out great except for when I tried to put it together at the table and all the strings got jumbled the fuck up. It looked like this.

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Cut to fucking forever later, it was wonderful and finished. I would have liked to paint the hoops black but we only have crayola paints in this house and that shit washes right off, and if I know anything, it’s that liquids fly when there’s a new baby in the house and who needs black painting dripping off what was, only moments before, a cute and sentimental gift from your office but has suddenly become just another thing in this fucking house that is dripping and dirty. But I digress. I was drinking entertaining last night, and could not run hither, thither and yon to find proper paint. But I think the chandelier looks cute as is, especially when the tensioned hoops were on at the end.

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Highly recommend that craft.
I also had a little note from Batman to the effect that he saved a gift from that freaky fucker Joker, and the box was full of Joker cards as well as baby swag, and adorable Batman shoes in newborn size, cute!

There is yet another office baby shower coming up, the fourth in seven months, so be on the lookout for me swearing about a nautical-themed baby shower soon.

 

Make Vaginas Not War

And drink wine while you do it.

Twat a fun night haha!

Etsy shops have fabulous vagina-themed everything, and after celebrating the work that my vagina did 8 years ago a couple of months back by eating leftover cake after middle child’s birthday, I kept the joke rolling by googling vagina stuff. 

And then the idea of a  vagina xmas decorations craft night, or #vajornaments, as one of my #vagcrew coined the term, was born, and it was a bruiser!

Cue the same in two weeks when the littlest turns six, post Kung Fu party, it will be time to celebrate my old girl again. 

May your jangle jingle, this entire holiday season.