Bullshit my kids say

I can touch my eye. It feels like a weird gummi bear

When chckens mate, are they making friends?

Can we build it?
7yo: no u can’t
Yes i can! You’re not in charge of me!

I hate when we don’t have a bouncy house

Are my eyes made out of meat?

How many years have I been built?
You mean when where you born?
No, built.