Footballs Don’t Have Necks

What is it with dudes who think their kid is a football? They hold them here, there or on their shoulders when the child still hasn’t mastered holding up their head. Fuck those guys.
Husband used to do that sometimes, deaf to my pleas and demands to stop being a douche and showponying his child around while demonstrating his ignorance regarding infant neck strength.
Ironically, Husband spotted one of those guys at dinner tonight. What an adorable accessory; Look at what I’ve got, etc. I have to assume that his partner was looking daggers at him and threatening to withhold sex if he wouldn’t listen to reason. Widdle babies are cute, but not if their head is lolling weakly while Dad struts around like Brent, the chicken guy, from the Meatballs movie. I hate that guy.