THE Golden Girl

Yesterday at work, I saw all my fave choices in growing old in one, fabulous lady. The multiple piercings, the dyed (purple) hair, the fuck-you-I’m-walking-on-the-left. Maybe she was Australian, too.

I loved her and we crossed the road together and then she walked out of my life.
That was a real boon to my day since I (am) was tired from living and also from multie self-imposed deadlines. And also from wanting to do 100 things when I i have time for maybe 5.

Now I can add rad hair dye and piercings to that ever-growing to-do list.


Ideas Man

Did you used to pretend that you were someone else? Not necessarily (hopefully not) because you didn’t want to be you anymore, but because it was fun to pretend.


From The Golden Girls, I was Dorothy Spornak because she was the funniest, in my opinion, and in Friends, I was Rachel because I liked her hair the best and had the same coloured hair, whereas my other friends had dark hair like Monica and blonde hair like Phoebe. In the aussie movie The Castle, I am often compared to one of them and it’s not who you might think. Mum?


No. Trace? No. I’m Steve, AKA the “Ideas Man” and that’s him on the end, standing there like he mean’s business. Yep, that’s me, the Ideas Man in our family. I like to think I’ve got better hair, but maybe that’s only because everyone does twenty years later. My ideas include but are not limited to plots and characters for novels, obvs, lists of presents (admittedly I dropped the ball this past Christmas), family adventures (getting married not once but three times was my idea, driving to OK in a cold AF bus during Thanksgiving, random – possibly idiotic – projects around the house like digging unnecessary holes, building jungle forts that the kids apparently will never fucking use even though they absolutely loved the idea, super fun birthday parties, you name it, I’ve already suggested it), and personal adventures (drinking wine at home, at bars, at other people’s houses, dressing up and going out, dressing up and staying home, making dress-up clothes and occasionally biting off more than I can chew).

So yeah, I’m Steve. But in other movies, I can be not Steve. Like in The Lake House – obvs I’m Sandra Bullock who sits around (figuratively, she’s a dr ffs) pining for Keanu. Gets me every time.

In Boys On The Side I was Drew Barrymore’s character and I still love that hair.


Thankfully, I don’t get into the sort of trouble that her character did.

Hmm, what else? Apparently, we never go to the movies and I can’t remember anything we might have watched in the last decade. Trainwreck? Deadpool? Wallace and Gromit? No, I’m coming up empty and I can’t remember any of the other hilarious comparisons we made in high school. They were spot on but my goldfish brain has lost them. Maye that means I’m Goldie Hawn from Overboard.


Wow, that’s not what I meant.


That’s more like it.

Anyhoo, movies, the great escapist pleasure. Go figure.