Dropping The Kids off at the Pool

The first time I heard that phrase, I needed it explained to me, and now it springs to mind every time I hear the toilet flush. 5yo is very adept at bowel movements, (a formidable shitter, if you will) so adept, it’s alarming. What is more alarming is when he goes to the bathroom at the park.
He is big enough to go in a cubicle by himself, now – he can lock the door and wash his hands adequately, not go overboard with the tp and does better every day at not touching a-n-y-t-h-i-n-g while he is in there. But he takes forever at the park, so I always worry about bad guys in the bathroom, even though I have probably just been in there with 3.5yo and/or have seen other parents go in with their own needy children beforehand. I check exactly what time he goes in there – which is not easy because I have a small analog watch face, and I check it 2 or 3 times in a 5 second period because I wasn’t paying attention the first time or have already forgotten. I give him a set amount of time in my mind, and feel a bit more frantic as the end of that time creeps closer (so slow on a watch with only 2 hands), but I have to keep watching 3.5yo to see his successes on the playground (Mummy, Mummy, Muuuuuuuuuuuum!) and make sure a different bad guy doesn’t make off with my youngest whilst I’m preoccupied with the bathroom door. But I can’t not watch the bathroom, in case a bad guy comes out of it, or snatches 5.5yo as he comes out of the cinder block cesspool while my attention is elsewhere. Oh! My dilemmas are many and exaggerated.
I cannot recommend strongly enough, the convenience and peace of mind of having a travel potty in the back of the car. Disregard the stink and the annoyance of having to watch your kids take a dump in the boot of the car to ensure they don’t touch anything back there before cleaning their hands, if you can, I rest easy in the knowledge that (it’s big enough for me to use in a pinch) the only bad guys nearby are the ones being tied up in that tidy bag.


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