9 years married today. We celebrated last night with a nice dinner after the boys were in bed.

Step 1: Mood lighting

Step 2: Tear off the “label” from a tall pot you bought at a yard sale.

Step 3: Fill with ice.

Step 4: Find the smallest possible birds to roast.

Step 5: Arrange sweetly on plates. Take several bites using civilised cutlery before cursing the tiny, tiny bones that need to be picked apart.

Step 6: Drink at least as many glasses of bubbles as you have children. At least.

Step 8: There are no photos of this step.