Still faced with the impending threat of getting a day job, I’ve begun to think about interacting with others and the prospect of having to be nice or be quiet. And frankly, when people are too quiet they’re assumed not to be nice anyway, and I don’t want to miss out on anything because nice guys finish last. Or do they? [I certainly will be when I “compete” — haha wtf? in the full-length CLR next weekend.]
I recently read an article where that age old adage was all but disproved. It mentioned dating questions about who looks (better) nice overall and rated people on their facial expressions. I’m not sure how dating can correctly predict niceness, ’cause we’ve all made those kinds of mistakes. But what would I know about dating? I dated my husband for all of four hours before I asked him to marry me (he said no).
So does it matter that I’m not nice? My kids would say it does, when it suits them, of course. Maybe it’s just me. Maybe it’s just that I’m always tired from having time to myself at the end of the night. Maybe it doesn’t even matter anymore. But If I’m not me anymore, who would I be? I would be what I think society’s idea of niceness was, and I think that those people are generally not my fave.
But maybe small steps is all it takes [just like in the relay race]. A while back, like a few years I think, I started saying “thank you” to Husband for every little thing he did, every single thing. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve got good manners up the ying yang, but I started laying it on thick, and it wasn’t even cheesy. It was just more good manners and when you’re sitting together at the end of the day, a little “thank you” for some seemingly inconsequential thing, really makes a difference, even if it’s just breaking the ice. Or maybe people do this all the time and I really am just a bitch.
How else could I be “nice” all day if not giving profuse thanks for borrowing a stapler? I just woke up from a nap so I’m drawing a blank, but let me cast my mind to what I tell the boys about being nice…
Being gentle, with words as well as actions
Not being a dick
Seems simple enough. Maybe I can put motivational speaker on my resume as well.