Made Flesh

Do you ever wonder what it would be like to have fave characters and their storylines made into a movie? Of course, how amazing to see it all on screen! But if it doesn’t look like you imagined it, or if it’s really just a pile of garbage, it’s hard to forget. For me, it’s hard to see the characters in my mind as they were before an actor takes them on. For example, Edward Cullen is not Robert Pattinson but I can’t remember what he looked like before I saw the movies. I think Bella was always Kristen Stewart and by that I mean #notmyfave. 

I got two books for Christmas this morning, both of which are exciting, and which made it hard to choose which one I’d read first. But I chose A Time Of Torment by John Connolly and peeples might recall that Charlie Parker is on my celebrity boyfriends list, as well as Husband’s. Long have Husband and I (loved Charlie Parker) debated who could play the man on screen, and it goes on. Charlie Parker is rugged, handsome, flinty, haunted, dark-haired, broad but not hulking, resourceful. So, please not Tom Hanks. I don’t feel like he was the best choice for the Dan Brown books, even though, sure, he’s America’s fave. And we love Tom Hanks, don’t get me wrong, but I feel like he was the box-office choice, rather than being the most suitable. We’ve debated those movies, too, and I lean more towards Clive Owen or even Hugh Jackman. 

Anyhoo, who could possibly play Charlie Parker? Husband and I disagree. I favour the more attractive types, Husband – not so much. Again, I would suggest Clive Owen, or Clive from Vikings #goddamn #yesplease, or even Javier Bardem. You see where I’m going with this – basically people I’d add to my #boyfriends list – big, dark-haired and fucking ass-kickers. Yeah, that about sums it up. 

So, er, let me grab a drink of ice water and get back to reading. 

Boyfriend Business

I, apparently, have a number of contingency plans, should the god-awful, worst-case scenario occur in a hypothetical, parallel world. Boyfriends. If Husband is taken from this world too soon – and let me be perfectly clear and say that any time would too soon, regardless of his occasional open mouth snoring and stealing the fucking blankets and not sorting out his GD washing – I have a lot of celebrity boyfriends who may or may not step in to fill the vacated position. Ryan Gosling was never really on my list, but if he calls me, then maybe I will reconsider.

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I found this online. Maybe I'm on his list, too, if Eva ever kicks the bucket

Marky Mark was on the list early, and not because of his NKOTB bro Donny. Marky Mark kicks everyones collective asses in movies such as Date Night, The Departed and Four Brothers. I love the gritty shit.
I then thought that I might marry our house cleaner if Husband bought the farm, because she never judges and I like the way she rolls, the vacuum cleaner through the mess, like a scythe. Elaine is hardcore.
Christian Bale gets shit done in The Dark Knight trilogy, and who doesn’t love a man in a thick rubber suit of black armored draw your own conclusions, who talks dirty to people with a lisp?
And then came Kylo Ren, with his dark cloak. And sure, that mask is certainly creepy, but it’s also kind of maybe sexy as hell. Or was it his grasp of the midiclorians (sp?) that allowed him to stop the space time continuum for one or two individuals he was “questioning” whilst all hell was being broken loose upon a village of poor unsuspectings? I might have been a little hot under the cloak, myself.
And recently, Charlie Parker. He’s actually a fictional character created by John Connolly who rules the book-writing skies along with Stephen King and Joe Hill and a bunch of other amazeballs writers whose names will take up too much space to write. But yeah, Charlie Parker. Rugged, dangerous, capable as all get out, probably built like Noah’s Ark with eyes to cut you in half as you lose yourself in them. Or words to that effect. I started the new Charlie Parker novel recently, A Song of Shadows, and one of the praise quotes on the dust cover reads “The intensity of a madman and the subtley of a poet” and that’s it in a nutshell. I told Husband about Charlie Parker being my new boyfriend and he all but screamed out a resounding “noooooooo”, because he also wants Charlie Parker to be his boyfriend because of the above rad reasons. But honestly, he will probably be busy with his other boyfriend, Tom Hardy, and that’s fine with me.
Mmmm, celebrity boyfriends.