Crap! Crap! Crap!

Crap! Crap! Crap! Crap! Crap!
We missed our flight.
The alarm clock didn’t go off, what a rookie mistake! We only used one alarm clock, we didn’t shower again before we went to bed, we didn’t speed completely recklessly and there (apparently) weren’t enough staff available to help us get our As into G. On the other hand, while we were late, we were still early enough to start the bag-drop process, but the staff at the ticketing counter weren’t super duper helpful to my “business pro” and his family who were late for their flight, so, phuck ’em, we missed our flight. We had great service from the valet guy who ended up helping bag the car seats, but wouldn’t accept our tip. We had great service from the waitress at the cafe afterwards, and we had great service from the people at the airport hotel, but that’s all after the fact. We also had a little lip service from nearly 5yo a few times, just to keep things real. Bah!
We spent a good amount of time at the airport playground to burn off the steam, since the boys were dragged from their beds by somewhat frantic parents and jammed into the car, sans clothes, no time to powder their widdle noses (nearly 3yo pooed in the airport toilets!!), no breakfast and barely a sip of water. They were patient, as well, while Husband sorted out the mess at the ticketing counter (I saw some sniffs and raised noses behind it, phuck ’em) and they could only sit/stand/bother each other in a small area between a pillar and one of those belt/cordon pole thingies. So they played and were noisy, but then we got the (5) bags (and 3 car seats plus a hat case) back to the car, and Husband drove it down the road while we had a short ride in the shuttle bus, and all arrived at the hotel and could sit in proper chairs. There was trendy 80s music piping throughout the hotel when we arrived – one would never know that we aren’t somewhere more exotic, but as nearly 5yo said emphatically after dinner – “Daddy, this is not Italy”.
What could we do all day? Driving anywhere – especially home – was out of the question because messing around with car seats can drive a man to drink when there are whiny kids nearby, and same for Mama if she has to shepherd them !away from the car! So we went into town on the train, surely they would love that. And they did, for about 15 minutes, then it was all “why is the train taking so long”. We went to Powell’s, but got waylaid by ankle-biters demanding food, so we went across the road and had everything…and then it was quiet, *sigh*.
So Husband took the big boys to buy books but came out with stickers and lego, wt? And I went to the shop across the road and a looked at the clothes. We didn’t stay long, obviously. Nearly 3yo was hiding inside the circular hanging stands a few times and I did lose him at the end, because he doubled back on me, cheeky sausage. We waited for the others in the Doc Martens shop, and I’m pleased to say that *bashful* I got my first pair of docs, awww, isn’t that sweet. Husband also got a pair but there were no cherries in his size, oh dear!
We traded a visit to a somewhat expensive playhouse for a ride back to the hotel and the promise of swimming after naps. Which is how I am able to be a little succinct, today, as my clan is in the pool while I lay around on scattered pillows and bedding in the afternoon sun, watching occasional planes come in. I will save my energy for when they need to change back into dry clothes for dinner.
A tough afternoon ensued during which kids shat parents to tears, so we had alcohol for dinner. We will definitely shower again before bed to save time since we will be making another early morning dash, but frankly, I have to say that I have looked fabulous during all this crazy nonsense! I had my hair cut and flat-ironed yesterday and I have been waltzing around with salon smooth hair. I am, however, looking forward to the bouncy curl setting back in, and just as I like a dalliance with my other man (husband is beardy mcbeard right now) and Husband is happy swanning around with a smooth-haired lady friend, he is also awaiting the return of big hair.
Boys are winding down now, in front of the box – or laptop, as there was nothing to watch on tele. Hopefully there won’t be too much silliness after lights out because we are right in the next room and I do not want to listen to that stuff anymore today – what happened to those quiet boys at the airport?
I’m just hoping that when we finally get there, the Hilton in Rome will shit all over this place. And now it’s bedtime; let the wailing begin.

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