They probably think I’m awful

But 4yo doesn’t get out of the fucking pool when I tell him. He swims away and plays with the other fucking parents. He ignores me, and has gone from one side of the pool to the other to avoid me. So I yell at him. Not full yell, but quiet yell. And they look at me from behind their brightly colored prams while their 2yo learns to blow bubbles or whatever. Fuck off. It’s not like we haven’t been doing the same thing for 2 years, and that he doesn’t know the rules of the pool and what he is and is not allowed to do.
And then he cries like he is being beaten. But, of course, it’s because I have not given him his hot wheels cars to smash against the wall in the shower. And then he suddenly stops crying, as though his breath has suddenly and awfully cut off. But, of course, it’s because I asked him if he wanted a cuddle and he tearfully nodded and swallowed his cries.
I’m not an awful parent (all of the time), I guess I just have awful interactions with my kids on occasion when there are the most witnesses. Sigh.

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