Seriously, who has people running into them all the freaking time? Me, that’s who. The other day a guy ran into the back of my car driving around the corner. He was old and I asked him if he was okay, first and foremost. What I was thinking was something along the lines of holy fucking shit why does this always happen to me, or whatevs.

Second thing I asked was if he had insurance, because the last time I was involved in an accident, the old lady who literally turned right in front of my car while I was doing a nimble 45mpfh didn’t have insurance. The dude’s got Statefarm.

Hoping Jake pulls through on this one.

It wasn’t a big accident – we were both in turning lanes turning and he hit the right rear door/wheel area, but I’ve got a fuck off big black car, so the damage will be $$, I’m guessing. And no one was injured. The boys didn’t even know what had happened, they probably thought I’d run over something on the road, like a curb. It happens.

This is the fourth time someone has run into me. The third time was the doozy.

First was leaving a kid’s birthday party, a young driver ran up the ass of my car. Her air-bag went off.

Second was some idiot backing into me while I was waiting for another car to reverse out of a carpark. I was literally not moving and the old twat just backed on out.

Third was the old lady who went to hospital and was cited by the cops.

And fourth was the fellow this week. Good times.

None of the above happened when Husband was around, which goes towards proving that

a) I’m a tough motherfucker who can handle pretty much anything. Don’t fuck with me.

b) It doesn’t matter what colour car one drives – red, silver, red, black – they’re all in for the wreckers at some point.

c) I may have been a shit driver in a previous life.

d) Statistically, in my experience, young drivers have less accidents than old – 1:3

Moral of the story: open your fucking eyes, people!