Guys, I need to update the blog because it’s been a while – work, go figure! – and because we’re probably getting our tree today, and I might not live to tell the tale.

If you’ve been reading my shit for a while, then you’re probably familiar with my history of choosing xmas trees but let me recap in the words of Sir Mix–ALot: “I like ’em round, and big…I want ’em real thick and…” you get the idea.

The other day Husband and I were talking about getting the tree; we also drive past the tree farm on the way to school, so it’s been on our mind. The things that immediately spring to mind for me are the time Husband left the tree on the front step overnight because he was too pissed off to bring the mofo inside, and also the time someone copped an apple to the face. Oh, and then there’s last year, when my appropriately-sized tree turned out to be at least 5feet across. Anyhoo, Husband is all “not another big one this year, okay?” and I’m all “that’s BS, no way” and then he’s all “okay well, I have been working out, so” and I’m all *fist pumps*.

Husband is currently sleeping off a good time out last night, so I need to butter him up because he’s kinda dusty right now, except…

…stay tuned.