The Canned Goods

We are all going to die in a raging inferno, in case you haven’t heard. Or it might be a tidal wave or some other terrible fate as a result of a long overdue earthquake. That’s what I’m gleaning from the news, anyway. The real take away for me, besides inevitable death, is that the water will be contaminated by battery acid and fuel since all the storage and chemical warehouses etc, will also be wracked and ruined, so my precious lifestraws won’t be of any use at all, woe! So we’ve started storing water but if the house is going to fall down on top of it all, what are we to do? I should start hoarding booze because I could probably slurp that off the ground and not care about germs etc. Not so with water, I hear.

Back in the day, read: well before children, Husband and I were in Sydney living the high life and thin, so thin! But there was a bit of terrorist stuff in the news so we started talking about our game plan. Basically it was not a plan but a small, insulated bag with a bottle of water and a couple of tins of braised steak and onions, very similar to something made by Dinty Moore except waaay tastier. 

We’ve upped our game in the last few years but we got complacent, as you do, and haven’t really cycled through it as we should, instead, just adding to it. So last night, when the kids asked about dinner and decried my suggestion of sausages, I suggested we raid the emergency food supplies, and they were on board.

What did they eat first? Canned sausage, fuckers. Most of the canned stuff was not gf and 7yo got a but whiny, so he’ll probably die first in the event of an actual disaster scenario. 10yo has always been a but picky, so he’ll come a close second. 9yo was a bit more adventurous and tried a can of spagetti-os and some shitty mac and cheese. Now he realises that all the good food we eat is very good, and the canned stuff is not. “But Mom, why would we eat this stuff?” started the conversation about out of commission roads and empty shops and lunatics with guns. I ate a can of that Dinty Moore and bring me back the braised steak and onions, I say! That stuff was dog food. I also ate ate some scalloped potatoes, and after living to tell the tale, I do not recommend.

Of course, everyone does what’s right for their family but the box I ate last night was a) expired, b) too much and c) tasted like detergent. But sure, in the event of catastrophe, I might just be hungry enough to eat it again.

There were no horrendous, psychadelic turds this morning, that I heard about, so life goes on and we’ll try and make tastier choices when we next go shopping, I guess?


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