Call now, please have your credit card ready

I was wasting time last night watching bad hair and bad love scenes and an ad came on for a by the minute psychic service.
“Call now for $1 per min…She saw me owning my own yoga studio… She had names, she had so much detail… call today, your best psychic reading or its free”
I wonder if someone is waiting by the psychic telephonist to type in the number you are calling from and cross-referencing your location with facebook and yellow pages etc, so they really can give you the best psychic reading. Or perhaps they don’t need to, because they can tell all sorts of things by the sound of your voice reverberating through the phone lines.
I called a psychic hotline once. I had misplaced a personal notebook – an actual notebook, not an electronic version – and was desperate (obviously) to find it. I can’t remember if I had notes in there for my book or if I was merely paralyzed at the idea that it could fall into the wrong hands. Anyhoo, I called before I left work and read out my credit card number, and proceeded to tell her about my notebook. The call didn’t last long because after ahe said something along the lines of “I feel like it is somewhere near where there is water”, I declined her offers to hear certain bullshit about my job prospects or love life. Wasting money and making myself available for a potential fiscal downfall did nothing to improve my prospects for finding the notebook. Eventually I did find it in my large and mostly unused make up case which was under my bed; I’m not sure how long it was between the 2 events.
Did the woman on the phone have a bunch of flash cards that she shuffled around to find the right-sounding solution for each person? Or did the water content in those unused tubes of youthful glow count?
Years later and perhaps 3 years ago I did get my palm read. It seemed a bit more legit because we were at a renaissance faire. She told me one or two things that I can’t remember, but also that an older man would figure in my life as a friend. I think that might apply to my neighbour, but otherwise who the hell knows.
In the past I have always had an interest in that sort of stuff, but really I’m a little skeptical. Is it really an accurate prediction or a self fulfilling cycle? And that question only applies if it’s not complete bullshit in the first place. I don’t really think it’s bullshit, but I have hard time making up my mind between the other two.


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