I don’t like missing out on things, and I have only recently been able to delegate gracefully. So having a fistful of kids is tough, for more than a bunch of obvious reasons.
Having more kids means doing less with the first one, and maybe doing even less with the second one because the third one is learning all those hard lessons of manhood like peeing outside and getting out of bed at an appropriate time in the good gosh darn morning, that his brothers have mastered already. And now that 7yo is doing awesome things like reading on his own, and attending first grade field trips, I am especially sad to miss out on things.
First time parents contemplating consecutives always wonder about having enough love to share amongst the fruits of their loins. I have moved past that emotional hurdle, but am at a similar hurdle, just further down the road. I have, in the past, been able to be a classroom helper, but as 7yo is in a new school this year and my time is scheduled differently now, I have not been able to (realistically) make time for the classroom. I’ve wanted to help with or drive or attend field trips, but have missed out for the same reasons; sometimes those reasons are 2 kids and sometimes only 1. I couldn’t go on an awesome field trip today because of 1 kid – Husband was also out of town, otherwise he certainly would have gone along. And a week or so ago, I missed out on seeing 7yo give a short speech in front of his class (with a microphone!) about something he had made as part of a unit they were studying, and that was because I had to take 3.5yo to the bathroom. Woe! A friend recorded him and sent it to me, but oh, I was sorely disappointed. I cannot get that back. At least there was good and proper cause for the trip, but what bloody awful timing.
That must be all it is, shit timing of all and sundry, including myself and Husband, for not thinking the timing through a bit better, but that is no comfort when there are moments mounting over the next decade and beyond.
[Insert weeping parent emoji here]
Bloody Birds; Bloody Kids
Boys were home today, playing and tormenting each other, so of course, the doors were mostly open, most of the day. Now, post bed time, I am doodling in the kitchen, pottering around, generally avoiding the night time chores, and I start to hear funky noises… like a tapping, a fluttering, or a scraping; a shooshing, a windy sound, and heaven forbid… a bit of a squawk.
Hot damn. There’s only one thing worse than birds, and that’s birds inside my house. Bleck. Shiver. Rolling of eyes.
It has happened once before, many moons ago. Luckily Husband was home, so I didn’t (die from it) endure it alone. I saw something fly past out of the corner of my eye – while I was in the kitchen! I said as much to Husband who poo-pooed my comment. But then he saw it and thought it was a bat. It was a swallow, or one of those other small, dark, feathery fiends. Anyhoo, we ran around a bit and I eventually ran and hid in the bedroom. There were a number of open doors and the bird soon had the good sense to piss off out of one of them.
Tonight, though, I think it was just the sounds of Toad Hall trying to settle down for the night. I will know for certain in about 20 minutes when I saunter around the house looking for more chores to avoid. If I am found in the morning, dead under a pile of bird shit, people will know otherwise.
What next… it’s not a question.
After a morning that didn’t go according to plan, where I may or may not have made things unnecessarily more complicated for myself, the afternoon culminated in 3.5yo pooing in the bushes, and then in the car porta-potty, stinks stinks stinks.
I was going to write about all that stuff, but it was a few weeks ago and what else is there except poo in the bushes.
Aaaaaaagggghhhhhh!
Daddy’s gonna be pissed
After all the commotion and hoo-haa about my car being in a small accident, and finally getting it back after a long and drawn out repair, someone backed into Husband’s car when I was oot n aboot. What the hell, universe? 
The dent may or may not be in the shape of Husband’s angry face.
All’s well that ends well, but I was driving extremely nervous the days following this business, in case someone was lining me up for number 3.
Dropping The Kids off at the Pool
The first time I heard that phrase, I needed it explained to me, and now it springs to mind every time I hear the toilet flush. 5yo is very adept at bowel movements, (a formidable shitter, if you will) so adept, it’s alarming. What is more alarming is when he goes to the bathroom at the park.
He is big enough to go in a cubicle by himself, now – he can lock the door and wash his hands adequately, not go overboard with the tp and does better every day at not touching a-n-y-t-h-i-n-g while he is in there. But he takes forever at the park, so I always worry about bad guys in the bathroom, even though I have probably just been in there with 3.5yo and/or have seen other parents go in with their own needy children beforehand. I check exactly what time he goes in there – which is not easy because I have a small analog watch face, and I check it 2 or 3 times in a 5 second period because I wasn’t paying attention the first time or have already forgotten. I give him a set amount of time in my mind, and feel a bit more frantic as the end of that time creeps closer (so slow on a watch with only 2 hands), but I have to keep watching 3.5yo to see his successes on the playground (Mummy, Mummy, Muuuuuuuuuuuum!) and make sure a different bad guy doesn’t make off with my youngest whilst I’m preoccupied with the bathroom door. But I can’t not watch the bathroom, in case a bad guy comes out of it, or snatches 5.5yo as he comes out of the cinder block cesspool while my attention is elsewhere. Oh! My dilemmas are many and exaggerated.
I cannot recommend strongly enough, the convenience and peace of mind of having a travel potty in the back of the car. Disregard the stink and the annoyance of having to watch your kids take a dump in the boot of the car to ensure they don’t touch anything back there before cleaning their hands, if you can, I rest easy in the knowledge that (it’s big enough for me to use in a pinch) the only bad guys nearby are the ones being tied up in that tidy bag.
Shameless Self-Promotion
Hey, I found this really awesome Etsy shop at https://www.etsy.com/shop/AffairsoftheHat
And it turns out that it’s mine! I couldn’t make the etsy button link, so, there is the actual link.
These hats are lovely sizes and shapes, and I’ve used ribbons to tie them, rather than elastic so there will be no problem with elastic sizes, and any size or shaped head can wear them. I measured the ribbon on my own head, and it looks simply adorable on 5yo’s head.
I have used a thin gauge wire along the bottom of the hat form, so it feels pretty strong and sure, unless it is purposely bent out of shape, which would be an awful shame. The actual base is made of buckram, which can be shaped when wet and then it dries. There is a cotton lining along the top and the wired bottom of the hat shape, but if caught in a downpour, the base shape would probably be ruined.
The fabric I’ve used in these first hats
is a sparkly satin, and there are a few colours that I couldn’t help but grab up into my trolley in the fabric section: light pink, bright pink, blue, yellow, white, and green. I could have bought so many more, but it’s best to be realistic – and economical – and use what I have, first.
There are so many occasions – or affairs – that hats are perfect for; I wear one whenever I am lucky enough to go out for Afternoon Tea, and sometimes out for dinner with friends, and of course, Mom Prom. These hats would be adorable on children for their own Afternoon Tea, themed birthday parties, photography sessions with sisters or mother/daughter groups, and I made the small sizes purposely for children. Of course, they would still fit adults, and I dare I say, be perfect for Baby Showers, Bachelorette parties, birrhday parties, photo props and more.
Each hat is sold as a pair or a set of 3 or more (prices vary), and the hats can be the same colour or different. Baby Shower hats might even be all blue or all pink.
I’m going to sign off now, and get sewing!
The REAL Easter Egg Hunt
Easter egg hunting is done by the boys at home, and occasionally we have a group hunt with our playdate friends, but we missed it this year due to the ever-growing scheduling conflicts.
During all the cute pinterest ideas on facebook and banter about junkfood, I saw a picture from some enterprising parent about an egg hunt for adults, comprised of plastic eggs containing liquor. Hell-LOOOO!
So that is the plan tonight. Put the kids to bed then meet near the barn and get a bit merry.
I read another blog about a boozy egg hunt and realised that I will need to organise a bit before the kids go to bed, like chairs, fire lighters, maybe a table, and perhaps a jug of daiquiri. Coincidentally, there are saddening strawberries on the table right now, begging to be cheered up with whatever is left over from the prom,
obviously not the chocolate.
I didn’t find any plastic eggs, but I did find some cheap chocolate that the boxes fit my widdle wine bottles!
From now on, let's wish our adult friends a "Merry Easter"
I was doing errands all over town this week, and wondering how I could spend a few minutes in the liquor store sans kids, but I didn’t want to leave them in the car outside, because in every movie the bandit jumps into the closest car after robbing said liquor store, and I knew I wouldn’t want to chill with my lady friends if my babies had been kidnapped, ho hum. So I am settling for wine, this time. I’m sure this is The Next Big Thing.
Baby Rabbit
The boys obviously have a shit ton of toys, that goes without saying for any kid, of course. But some toys are more important to them than others, and some are more important to me. Husband wouldn’t know what they have as they play with approximately 2% of what they own on any given day, except when one tries to downsize and donate. Mmm hmmm.
Anyhoo, there are one or two special toys that they sleep with, and then a few hangers on, and the ones that are special to me aren’t necessarily in either of those groups. Now, it goes without saying that some toy or toys will be lost, and it will be a terrible scene-maker when the child finds out, and so I try at all costs, to avoid losing toys, as you do.
It went like this…
3yo insisted on having the window down in the car this afternoon, on the school run. Crazy that I obliged him, but there it is. Being an occasional a-hole, he grabbed whatever he could lay his chubby widdle hands on and threw it out the window. It was Baby Rabbit, who belongs to 5yo. I didn’t realise it until 3yo had apparently thrown something out the window, according to 7yo, and I knew Baby Rabbit had been in the car and assumed the worst. But Baby Rabbit was not on the road. So I drove back the way we had come after collecting the eagle-eyed 7yo, and saw Baby Rabbit in the median strip-area in front of another school.
Thank goodness no other child had picked him up, I would have been heartbroken. Baby Rabbit was a gift from Nanny when 5yo was born, and is a beautiful widdle bunny who was wearing an adorable powder blue jumper when he arrived in a basket of flowers. So even though Big Spot usually has pride of place, and Blue Dog and Penguin are sometimes in and sometimes under the bed, Baby Rabbit is special to me, and I was super worried that we wouldn’t find him on the drive back.
5yo did lose another toy when he was 3,
What a dapper outfit
just after this photo was taken (see the poor lost whale/dolphin/dugong in pride of place a few days before it’s loss) and his reaction was as above, and the event is still discussed today.
7yo has lost one or two special-to-me toys which I have tried vehemently to find with no luck, and there was a few weeks when I was coming to terms with the loss of Cow, who has been a fave of all the boys but is now 3yo’s bestie. But it was apparently at a friend’s house whom we had visited, and I was so overjoyed when she said casuslly “Hey, is this yours?” that I nearly bawled.
Anyhoo, crisis averted, and Baby Rabbit is home, sweet home, again,
somewhere.
Affairs of the Hat
I have decided to sell hats, and have actually started doing something about it.
Of course, I have still procrastinated quite a bit, and taken quite a few photos of my work in progress,
and of me fooling around in the semi-finished product,
but I’m getting there. I have even managed a bit of a routine in terms of when and how I can sew, and it is super rewarding. So far the house and children – and even Husband – haven’t suffered much neglect, and even I am still looking reasonably clean and tidy when I leave the house. Perhaps my hair hasn’t been brushed as often as I make the boys brush theirs, but that is the general business of our lives interfering, not the sewing.
Off to bed, these pretty things will be waiting in the morning for some finishing touches.
Camping Out
I have just pledged to camp out on June 28. That is a Saturday and will be during the school holidays. Luckily, this was already on my list of things to do during the break, so I am somewhat mentally prepared to be camping with 3 boys, ages 7 and under. We also have a camp shower just begging to be used, laying in wait in the pantry, and the boys will love that. Actually, Husband and I love it, too. We have no close neighbours, so nuding it up and running outside to use a pitiful shower tube is (what the?) kind of fun. Add in a few glasses of wine and it will be a blast.
Weather permitting, we can do some star gazing, and if the ipad ever starts working again, useless piece of fuckery that it is, we will use the app that tells us which star is what and where the satellites will be. Then the nocturnal birdlife will come out and scare us all to pieces and we will burrow down in our sleeping bags, or doonas and throw rugs and pillows and stuffed animals, whichever applies.
It will also give us practice for when we go real camping over the Independence Day long weekend. Miles from anywhere and we have to bring in everything, including our own firewood. And machetes, since Husband took pleasure in telling me that there will probably be rattlesnakes. Bloody hell.
Anyhoo, what a fun weekend.
4 Princes and Me 