I Picked A Winner!

So. I mean sew, haha. I’m a picker and I pick up random shit all over the place. I nabbed a mustard lace tablecloth last year and wanted to do something fun with it but couldn’t figure it out. Then the school announced an earth child/hippie etc theme for the fundraising dinner. Perfect.

I googled lace tablecloth dress and pinterest had me covered. Lost In Paris has a tutorial on their website about diy lace tablecloth dresses!

I did the required measurements and found some handy dandy “staytape” which I think is just interfacing. As per the instructions on the website, I laid out the fabric and cut, fingers crossed. 

I used the interfacing tape on the seam because the lace is thin in parts. I’m going to reinforce the seams but needed to check it out, first.

I’ve got an old slip for underneath which still fits and I fucking love this! Going to fold down the neckline a teensy bit so it doesn’t fray, with some of the interfacing tape for seam reinforcement, and pin up the top of the sleeves since they are as long as the dress. Voila! Fucking voila!

Easy sew dress and I just happen to have another piece of lace lying around. I will try and make that one a teensy bit more fitted around the waist.



Sew, What The Hell Have I Been Doing?

​Before I landed a job last year, I volunteered to do three class projects at school. Or maybe it was after I got the job and I’m really that crazy, I can’t remember. Anyhoo, Ive put together a lego table, am in the process of making an Oregon-themed Monopoly table and I’m sewing another quilt for the kindergarten class. I did that when middle child was in K, and I put my hand up for it since 6yo resides there, now, and there were no other sewererers amongst the class parents.

I had the kids’ drawings screenprinted onto fabric and have sewn them onto the other pieces that I puzzled together. Yesterday I went and found some adorable fabric for the backing and also some brown to complete the design. I really need to complete the design because we have friends coming to stay next weekend and they’ll probably need the spare bed I’ve laid it all out on.

Anyhoo, it’s nearly finished and I’m relieved about that because, you know, I’ve got other things on my mind and there are other things I think about sewing, as well. I’ve decided to go as Moira Rose for Halloween, so I’ll need to make some hella outlandish couture pieces to match the wig and lipstick. 

I’ll probably need to start them pretty soon so they’re finished in time since I don’t have a lot of time. 

But there are other things that I want to sew that are less, say, obtuse fashion, that I might rock on a day to day basis as much as Moira sashays around in her teetering heels and metallic fabrics. 
For instance, I’m midway through making a skirt with fabric that I’m pretty sure was a set of drapes in a previous life. It’s an icy blue and is a bit Mad Men and will be perfect for work. The school function is coming up where the class projects will be auctioned off and I’ve decided on a dress made from a mustard lace tablecloth. Time is of the essence there so I really need to finish that quilt. I’d also love to make a couple of tops for work from linen tablecloths I have, too. I’d love to have sleeves that don’t ride up right into my armpits and apparently that is a pipedream unless I make those sleeves myself.

If you’re sensing a theme, you’re right – I’m a tight ass and don’t often like to buy clothes new. Partly because clothes are so fucking overpriced, but also clothes seem not often to be made with my smaller waist and rounded lady-hips in mind. Fabric is something I could blow cash on but I try to reuse stuff and buying vintage is so damn cool and results in very unique clothes. I’ve made a pencil skirt from a vintage bedspread, pleated skirts from vintage tablecloths, 

I made the red top from our Scottish wedding from a scarf and even my tartan dress from a pile of napkins a friend gave me. There is no end to what can be repurposed.  I even picked up two ruffled pillowcases the other day and wondered about fashioning them into a skirt. Ultimately, no, they wouldn’t have fit around my ass, but it was a fun idea before those lady-hips intruded. 

Do you sew? Do you repurpose? I’m always looking for the next fun project.

Make Vaginas Not War

And drink wine while you do it.

Twat a fun night haha!

Etsy shops have fabulous vagina-themed everything, and after celebrating the work that my vagina did 8 years ago a couple of months back by eating leftover cake after middle child’s birthday, I kept the joke rolling by googling vagina stuff. 

And then the idea of a  vagina xmas decorations craft night, or #vajornaments, as one of my #vagcrew coined the term, was born, and it was a bruiser!

Cue the same in two weeks when the littlest turns six, post Kung Fu party, it will be time to celebrate my old girl again. 

May your jangle jingle, this entire holiday season.

Mrs Sassy Pants

I’m a groover and a shaker in my own way, my own drum and all that. So the clothes that I find in shops aren’t always whst I like amd if tjey are, they don’t always fit because I’m a woman, if you can but dig it, not a mannequin.


Stupid example of how to make clothes fit

So I am always super duper happy when I find jeans or other pants that fit, and unhappy to the other extreme when they wear out. Of course, they only wear out in one spot because that’s where all the action is. Inside leg seams. Ho hum. It’s tough being sexy.
Talking to a friend about what a right-off the jeans end up being, and thinking later about all the fabric I have hoarded thoughtfully kept for future projects, led me to google some ideas and I found something pretty interesting…


Holy shit!

That’s right, patchwork jeans are a thing. Guess who just saved themselves $900?? Bet your sweet (and shapely) ass I did.



I sewed the first of the inside leg seams so that I could fold it back over and cover the worn fabric, then I got a little creative with the rest. And voila! I’m laughing all the way to the bank. ❤

I Heart Vintage Luggage

But I don’t want to look like vintage luggage when I am 40 because I don’t wear sunscreen all the time. I tend to wear skirts and shirts, and so my arms get quite a bit of sun. Add in driving the kids everywhere plus a day or two of gardening here and there, and I am might fast be approaching a lady version of George Hamilton. What to do?!

Enter the bolero. What I was thinking was sleeves, of course, sans everything else. Google found some cute things that could not be purchased anywhere for love nor money, but then I remembered – I can make my own shit. And so I did.


smug cow

I pulled out a pattern or two and used the Sleeve pieces, plus half of the top of a Back piece. Trial and error of the sleeve sizes, plus draping and pinning the excess, resulted in this uber trendy number, complete with unfinished seams.