Yesterday was the first day of school for 7.5yo and might-as-well-say 6yo. They got dressed and were ready, except that it was late-start Wednesday and we grossly miscalculated how much time we really had. Therefore, almost 4yo (OMG!) had to be raced off to school first after I managed not to smear eye make-up everywhere when I realized how little time we actually had.
Getting the big boys to school after that was fine, but then 7.5yo didn’t want to be seen being kissed when I left. I thought I had more time before this era began! 6yo didn’t have the time to be kissed because his room was very busy with new parents and classroom flowers and tears and whatnot. Not quite the semi-sentimental sendoff I had anticipated.
Anyhoo, after that I had a great day. I went to a morning tea with booze and other mamas, then talked sewing with a friend until afternoon pick up! I posted my obligatory first day pic on facebook but it didn’t include nearly 4yo because – I blame myself because I should have known better – Husband dressed him in a pajama shirt that is too short and old hobo pants that ought to have been recycled a year ago. Wth, Husband? I have been trying to think of a synonym for “half-assed” but all I have come up with is “flaky” and I don’t like that either.
What can I do differently this morning so things go better? I can be grateful that nearly 4yo didn’t come downstairs in the middle of the night to use our bathroom (and walk past the pig trough/ensuite that is 4 feet from his bed). I can be grateful that boys woke up in a good mood and timely manner, even if it was an hour earlier than yesterday. I can be grateful that I have the un-half-assed approach of making lunches the night before so I have more time to doodle on my phone before school. AND. I can be grateful that Husband is growing a massive beard even though it’s itchy and he sort of hates it, because I just love it.
Now I have just enough time to get myself dressed and drink more tea before getting those kids to school only a few minutes behind schedule.
Let me check the schedule…
Night Dreams
At night I pine
For sweets and wine
While my offspring refuse
To their energy diffuse.
They jump and yell
And my headaches swell
Before their eyes fall shut
And into bed I drag my but.
But lo and behold
The holidays are sold
For school draws near
What a treat for mine ear.
Their excitement grows
And mine, too, it shows!
For we all rejoice
That school is so nice
For them and for me
And then it will be
So quiet at home.
I may read my tome
In peace and quiet.
Husband, too, he likes it.
But how shall we rise
When sleep sticks our eyes
All these long holidays?
We shall have to find ways
To get out of our beds,
To have eyes with no reds
And to look oh, so chipper;
I’ll say “you little ripper!”
When they trip off to class
And take mine own ass
Off to wherever the hell I want
While they are with the font
Of all knowledge for youth.
I could be uncouth,
‘Cause that’s how I roll.
Poetry Your Hearts Out
If music can soothe even the savage beast, then perhaps poetry could comfort unsettled minds.
In the same vein as 100 days of happy and any other happiness project rhat I missed out on seeing, I’ve secided to start some daily poetry about whatevs is going on with me. Or attempted daily. And I challenge, nay, invite, all and sundry to do the same. Whether it be haiku, limerick, clean or dirty, a few lines or an entire saga. Poetry your hearts out, #poetryinvitational.
My kids love to build with lego blocks,
So I thought they could do the state fair and rock the socks
off the judges with their creative mox…y
But then I missed the date – even though I stayed up late
every night,
I was so sad
for being so bad
at scheduling when I should have had
it already.
My widdle middle also wants to have a go
and who am I to say no,
so, here we go
again.
A Chip Off The Old Block
If I could be in any doubt that my first born is, in fact, born of me, if his eyes and fine bone structure gave me any room for doubt, his lack of follow through would banish it from my mind. I am a notorious ideas man, but I find myself disinclined to complete these fabulous ideas. It’s unhelpful and sometimes embarrassing.
7yo started on a Readathon because I came up with the awesome idea and he decided he wanted $40. $40 you say, that’s what I said, but we settled on 400 books in 40 days. He was excited but started poorly, and now, 20 days later, he has decided he really wants that money after all. So yesterday he read 33 books! This from the boy who refused to try to read and had to be bribed with all and sundry and would still cry about it.
But that is also typical of me – slacking off until the end and then giving whatever the task is one last attempt the week before it is due.
With 20 days to go, 7yo may still yet find plenty more to do besides read 20 books a day, and then be saddled with reading 49 books in 5 days, but today he is still keen, and is ahead of his daily goal.
I should take his example and read my own book. It is dull and tedious and I moan and complain every time I sit down to it. Husband moans and complains about my complaints and tells me to put it away already, but as much as I don’t like it, I can’t bear to stop reading a book before the end, and I do want to know whodunnit. As with 7yo’s $40, I will be rewarded at the end by starting on The Book of Life by Deborah Harkness, so I should “just quit (my) whining and get on with it”. August 30 is outlined in red on the calendar as 7yo’s deadline for his task, and I should conside it mine as well because I know that when school starts back, there will be bigger things to take up our precious time, like fighting about getting ready for school and less time for fighting about things that we love.
How wifely am I?
I recently saw the tabulated data that a husband put together showing the excuses his wife gave for not having sex with him. It was sort of hilarious and sort of not, since he was shaming his wife publicly. If it was a tv show then sure, funny as shit because that’s life, but when it’s actually someone’s life, not so much.
Looking through her excuses, some of them sounded familiar and therefore, I have decided to tabulate my own data – not to publicly share and shame – to see how ‘wifely’ I am. It will be interesting if nothing else, but probably more than interesting.
I’ve heard of the ‘beads in a bowl’ or ‘sex for 40 days’ bizzo, but I do like a break sometimes. 40 days sounds like a lot of work. Making a table and a pie chart are more my style. Mmmm, pie.
Seattle Delivers
But it doesn’t give proper directions.
It’s hard not to look like a tourist waiting to score when… I don’t know how to finish that sentence.
If this were a movie, a cute guy would be some sort of bike courier and be giving out party invitations like confetti to pretty out-of-staters. But no. Would-be helpful guys stink to high heaven of high heaven, and are too busy delivering it to give directions to tourists.
So I had a drink with a polar bear and that was ok, but my room stinks like nothing I know about, and that’s pretty disappointing.
Going for Broke
Literally, going for broke. I had the bright idea of a Readathon for 7yo, before school starts again in 45 days. He asked and I explained how it works, or sort of works when there is only one participant and the ‘athon’ is done at home. Then he asked for $40, wt? I said no, straight away. But then I countered with 400 books. He said no, straight away, then he reconsidered. I also threw in 500 for $50 etc, and told him how many days are left before school, and therefore how achievable his random $40 would be. Then he read a Flat Stanley book to me on the drive home. Woohoo! I’m definately winning at this stuff.
Shortly before that, though, I suggested that we could get a pool if 3.5yo would only listen to his teacher and get in the gosh darn pool, already. Aside from the combatative preschooler business, it’s also super frustrating because he used to be such a good swimmer, and that was before his 3rd birthday!
We will definately go broke, sooner rather than later.
Normal is a wide range
You know it’s been one of those days or something, when you absentmindedly start to put the wine bottle away instead of just taking it with you outside. I am so tired tonight, from doing a whole lot of bugger all, that the red almost went in the glass cabinet, wt??
5.5yo is at camp this week in preparation for full time kindy. He loved it. 3.5yo was a bit under the weather, but seems almost back to sparing levels, and so will be at his new school tomorrow. 7yo has expressed an interest in visiting the art gallery, so that will hopefully be our pm appointment. That is on the proviso that I quickly change at the gym into gallery-appropriate clothes and eat a picnic lunch I prepare tonight so we don’t have to go home, because it would be a massive pain for me to ignore all the housework that has to be done by 8am wednesday morning. Putting shit away is really not my forte.
3.4yo is back at swimming lessons on his own, rather than with his brothers, and is almost back to his former level of glory, hooray! Boo, I can’t find a photo. But I do have this…
7yo made it to the next level in his swimming class, anf rock-climbing was the bribe/lure/reward. 3.5yo gave it a go last week when 5.5yo did his climb, so he managed to get a little bit higher this time.
I’m watching the last vestiges of the sun fade away before I go upstairs to tell everyone to shit the hail up.
And drinking my red. Everyone elected to sleep under their expensive beds tonight, and more fool me, I encouraged them to forego mattresses, so it sounds like there is a whole lot of bullshit going on right now.
Gulp. When is my bed time?
Kombucha Update
I found out that I need to bottle WITH fruit for extra bubbles, so I tried it with apples and let it ferment a little in the pantry BEFORE putting it in the fridge, and it was awesome! My mum said it was a good alternative to beer, though Husband would beg to differ.
Anyhoo, I tried cucumber but everyone except me knows that vinegar and cucumber equals pickles, so, yeah… The strawberry one was ok and the cherry would have been nicer but it should have fermented longer. So I’m going back to the apple flavour, and am using mason jars instead of bigger bottles because it’s a lot to drink. Plus they look cute.
When we were away, we visited some friends and carb loaded to the bullshit, so we definately need to reset with less sugar now that we are home again home again, jiggety jog. And my scoby Mother is big and beautiful again, too.
Booya!
Peepee in the tipi
Oh my goodness, what an adventure…
Driving nearly 8 hours to get to the high desert. 5yo asking every 12 minutes “are we at the mine, yet?”. My standard response was just like Mr Incredible when they are literally rocketing to the city in a minivan held together by Mrs Incredible – “We get there WHEN WE GET THERE!”
Eventually we did get there, and we saw the tipi from the distance. It was exciting to see it get closer and closer by every rut and bump in the road. It was big enough for 2 air mattresses and a table at one end, and probably another mattress if we really wanted. We managed a dinner of canned vienna sausage franks and a bit of this and a bit of that. Everyone was excited about the franks but only the under 8s were impressed with them. I thought they tasted like super soft, fluffy, meat marshmallows. Barely palatable.
Cut to bed time and a standard amount of mayhem ensued. Husband and I stopped trying to unwind and just got into our own sleeping bags in there, too. It was super windy for ages (not from the vienna sausage), so there was flap, flap, flappingaroo from the top of the tipi canvas, and the poles were creaking like the mast on an old ship at sea. Eventually I woke up and could see the stars through the gap in the canvas. They would have been so bright and twinkly if my eyes were not sleepy and trying not to wake up. 3.5yo hopped in and out of our bed a few times before eventually staying on the other mattress and being zipped back up into his sleeping bag.
I knew the tipi would not be a seal against the creatures of the desert, but I didn’t know that those creatures would seem so big and loud when my brain stopped me from going back to sleep in the middle of the night. Something was on the canvas – right near my head – and was scratching or climbing or something noisy for a long time. And 3.5yo kept pushing me closer to the edge, egad! Husband, apparently, couldn’t sleep much and was sure there was a mouse running around – it sounded like a herd of them – but it was merely a single beetle.
We eventually went back to sleep, only to be awoken by the boys complaining of the cold.
We ate beans for breakfast – g r e a t – and tried to wait until a decent hour so we could harass the locals about the crystal mining.
We stood around in the already hot sun and got sand in our shoes and shorts until the bulldozer dumped a pile of ore for us to sort through. We had shovels and picks and screens and a hose, 2 moderately helpful kids, a whiny monkey and a mediocre amount of optimisim. It was enough to get us through the ENTIRE day – with breaks, of course – and through the entire pile of ore, which was way bigger than it looked.
It was a tough day – my nails would be ruined if I were in the habit of keeping them purdy – but we found a few pounds of Oregon Sunstone, and Husband said he would be keen to do it again, but probably not for 2 years.
On the (l o n g) drive home, we stopped for lunch and there was the obligatory cabinet of polished up rocks with some very nice jewellery made from the sunstones, so we will see how we go with getting ours cut and polished and what have you.
We also split our drive in half by staying with friends, which was much appreciated and a nice rest, but after doodling in the dusty desert for 2 days, I was not prepared for company, and Husband discreetly pointed out the mess I had made of my Dutch Bros and my shirt. Ho hum.
We had a hot day in Bend while the boys raced at the local BMX track, and then on the road again. The house was nice and tidy, just like we left it, for about 9 minutes after we got home, and then we went to bed. The end.
I highly recommend these oft annoying activities to make shit real for your family.
4 Princes and Me 