HBO Update

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So with Husband heading out this week, my attention turns to what I can do to bide my time… I ended up watching Season 3 of GIRLS the very next night of that heady weekend and was suitably tired and devastated when it finished. Then I found out that the library had season 4, so, yah! Done and dusted, but now I’m back to devastated since I can’t find season 5 anywhere except on pay per views. And so, this is what I will be contemplating this week, since Canada is apparently not under the same threats as Belgium was when Husband sauntered around that train station hours before those bomber fucks. But the bushfires are a worry, for sure, and I’m wondering if the news outlets will say that aussie fire fighters are heading over there sometime soon. Maybe I will be content to sit around and take snapshots of my news shoes,
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and maybe not. I do have the first three seasons of True Blood that I could rewatch, but breathy Bill doesn’t do it for me quite the same as that driving fellow. Does anyone have hbo? I might have a spare bottle of Oregon Pinot to swap for GIRLS season 5. Don’t leave me hanging.

Smashing Melancholy

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I told Husband today that melancholy isn’t our scene, but really it’s not his scene. It’s totally my scene, I’ve always been down with melancholy. Smashing Pumpkins didn’t quite rule my life when the double album with butterfly wings came out – yuh huh cassette, of course – but it was up there.
I was interested to watch the Melancholia movie but Husband poo-pooed it after the continual cycle of bullshit so I didn’t see the clonclusion, but I’m sure it would have been unfulfilling as shit and left me questioning myself for the rest of the night while Husband tried to ignore me and get some fucking sleep. But we’ll never know because it also wasn’t as cool or interesting as I had anticipated so I wouldn’t actually find it on amazon to finish watching the rest of it anyway.
Just finished season 3 of GIRLS and I’m melancholy because Hannah is a self-absorbed pest (with amazing clothes, btw) and Adam just loves her, and therefore, draw the obvious conclusion and I want them to stay together but she has the best opportunity everrr, but Adam just loves her. This is the melancholy that drives my stories, so its after 2am and I just want to cry over my keyboard until dawn, even though
it’s school drop off in 5 hours. Lucky I made lunches already.
Crossroadseses always bum me out.

Girls

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So, call me crazy or whatevs but I have a sense of adventure and sometimes that means reading all fucking night – as in literally all night – or maybe just til 4am or writing until midnight or binge watching two seasons of GIRLS because they are seriously only 30 minutes each, or thereabouts.
It’s 6am and there is fucking birdsong outside, as though I didn’t just have my heart ripped out of my chest and then put victoriously back by Adam Driver running through the streets without a shirt to the woman he loves because he loves her. And now I can’t watch season 3 consecutively because kids, and all that, and adult themes on the big screen etc. Yeah, that scene on her chest, um, right.
So I have been imagining one of the main characters in the book I’m writing as looking like Adam Driver, so all this bullshit with my friends giving me Kylo Ren/AD gear for my birthday? Hilarious and coincidental, but also inspirational.  And frankly, watching these two seasons – in 9 hours or so – has confirmed in my mind just what the hell is going on with that character because he was elusive until now, which totally threw me because hello? I created you, you fucker, you don’t get to jerk me around etc. And the other guy who I thought was THE guy, might not be the guy, and that kind of breaks my heart as well, but maybe it’s not four days worth of heartbreak over an imaginary character like last time, so I guess that is just as telling.
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Girls

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I’m having withdrawals from Girls. I’m ready for season 5 and I’m not gonna lie, I’ve seen a few sneaky pics on instagram that make me want to grind my life to a halt and find out just WTF is going on. Adam Driver was the face of a hero in a book I wrote earlier this year, and he keeps messing up the idea of what the hero in my current book looks like. Too many dark-haired boyfriends is confusing!

Anyhoo, watching seasons 1-4 back to back was all kinds of awesome, and while I couldn’t necessarily identify with whatever crazy adventures they were having, i.e. Hannah going to a stranger’s house and boning him for two days, being chased by a guy through the streets after smoking crack, etc, they were thought-provoking episodes, fo shiz.

For example, there were a couple of times where the/a character/s had an opportunity to stay home and get comfortable and rich (it was ages ago, I can’t remember this episoede exactly), which would very convenient and you wouldn’t have to worry about basically anything, but you also wouldn’t really do anything; and then there was the flipside of the coin where you leave for adventure and live hand to mouth, like Hannah sort of does for a while. She didn’t have shit but she had an existence. I’m sure it feels like less of an adventure when you’re literally down to the wire, but GD if it wouldn’t also be exhilarating to be out in the world and living an authentic life.

Hannah also had a bit of a problem and counting everything was a part of it at one stage. I used to count things, everything, especially my steps, when I was a kid. It got annoying because I couldn’t walk without counting steps, or how many times my arms moved while I walked. I would sometimes get to twelve or twenty or whatever and then start over. Looking back, I wonder if my folks noticed or if it was just in my head. I got caught up in counting things a few weeks ago and it was again, annoying as shit, but other shit distracted me so it’s not a thing anymore.

Fingers crossed that Hannah dumps Francis – yeah he’s nice, and cute, but, sad emoji, it’s Adam Driver or nothing – and everything becomes sunshine and lollipops, maybe except for AD giving the camera some moody eyes occasionally. GD!

It’s been too long so I can’t remember thinking much else, so I need to watch more.

Sciencing

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Husband and I saw The Martian on respective plane flights and loved it of course – kudos to you if you are sticking it to the man by holding out on that movie – and thought it would be perfect to share with 9yo (who, incidentally, had a big boy sleepover for his birthday rather than a full-blown party) if not all three boys. But when we went to buy it, it was sold out. I ended up ordering it online and we knew it had a few swears in it but they’ve seen The Goonies (5yo’s fave line is from Chunk “oh shit, what?”) and Back To The Future 1 and 3, so they’ve heard plenty of shits and frankly, they’ve heard the f bomb on numerous occasions – contextually, I might add – or msybe even their whole lives. And recently, even Husband has dropped a few GDs so, it’s all good. But a friend expressed his concern because he said there were lots of f bombs, so now we are watching it to see how many. We are almost an hour in and there have been about 4 shits and 2 fucks and I know “fuck you, Mars” is coming up. But again, all contextual. And honestly, Husband and I are of the opinion that contextual swears are a foregone conclusion, but when paired with science? It’s a no brainer. Gratuitous violence, on the other hand? Yeah, nah. Star Wars rocks but it’s pretty damn violent and it was too much for 9yo who is sensitive to that stuff, but everyone else’s kids have seen them all and think nothing of it. Of course, everyone does what’s right for their family and everyone else can fuck off, but we’ll take the swears over the violence any old day. And if watching The Martian gives them the inkling to be astronaughts, then they can be dropping f bombs all over the GD place as far as I’m concerned. I’ll have my fingers crossed for 9yo throwing out the obvious quote during his next dissection in class.

Degrees of Separation

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So Six Degrees Of Kevin Bacon gives every actor a bacon number or baconator or a number of bacon with regards to how close they are to Kevin Bacon. I thought it was a thing for anyone, but apparently it’s only for those in the know in Hollywood. On the other hand, I’m pretty sure it applies to all and sundry and not exclusively with regards to Kevin Bacon.
Facebook is something that perpetuates the same idea, and on that note there must be someone in my circle or in someone else’s circle who knows someone in my circle that knows the guy in my town that looks like Kylo Ren, not the actor who plays him but looks like Kylo Ren the character. I’ve seen him once at a local restaurant and at the park on the river and then on my birthday – yah! Happiest of birthdays – walking towards that same park. If I wasn’t such a goofball I would have said ‘hi’ to him then, but taking the initiative is apparently not my style. Anyhoo, soneone in my circle must know someone in his, if not the man himself, and can organise a goofy introduction sometime. He looks like a cool guy to hang out with on occasion. Any matve we could organise a while cast of pseudo look alikes and go and watch the next Star Wars movie together.

These Are Just A Few

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… of my favourite things… about getting my period, because that’s what’s on my mind right now, not my money, 
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contrary to what the song would suggest.

1. I’m not pregnant! As an aside, Husband has been fixed so that would be a miracle of biblical proportions anyway. But in other news, this monthly pain in the ass occurrence still feels a bit like having a baby, the actual having a baby part, and I’m not down with that, yo.

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Ha! Or whatever

2. I can eat whatever I want because I WANT
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3. I talk about my feelings and desires in no uncertain terms during this time TOUCH ME AND YOU DIE, to avoid confusion.
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4. My DIVA CUP enables me to turn somersaults during my sleep without concern for icky stuff. Google it.
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5. I remember all of the important things I’ve forgotten over the years while I’m lying in my little heap in a quiet corner.
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6. If all else fails I simply remember my favorite things, and then I don’t feel so bad

What Is The World Coming To

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Currently reading “A Man Called Ove” and he’s a cantankerous old prick who knows how to do everything except be nice to people.  At least, that’s what I’ve read so far, and he always grumbles about what yhe world is coming to because of what people can’t do. I am going to be Ove when I’m old, older – complaining about everyone and everything but hopefully still able to do my own stuff. I also want my boys to be able to do their own stuff, so that’s partly why I let them do their own stuff now, including getting up to and into shenanigans, also partly because I’m lazy but it’s helpful that I’m not helicoptering…
Things that my kids can do include but are not limited to:
* hammering – still working on the drilling
* limited lawn mowing
* problem-solving behaviours
* problem-creating behaviours
* hardening each other up for the real world, read – fighting
* get radical air on their bikes sans training wheels
* limited contextual use of swears

Okay, they don’t appear too useful on paper, but I’m proud that they can do shit as well as forage without parental supervision. I suppose the next step will be to start them on electrical apprenticeships before they burn the house down or singe all the hair from their bodies with socket experiments. In that vein, Husband and I feel like it’s pretty safe for them (specifically nearly 9yo) to watch The Martian so they can start sciencing the shit out of things a bit more. And if they can grow their own potatoes afterwards, it’s one more thing I can add to the list.

Putting Off The Inevitable

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Grocery shopping has been high on the priority list for a while now, but we have managed to find meat in the deep freeze hiding behind forgotten vegetables and old bags of soup just enough times to delay it. Because, as everyone knows, grocery shopping with kids is often times annoying as fuck if not a downright nightmare. Occasionally, the stars will align and all three will be in good moods and willing to help and infighting is at a minimum, but then Neptune rises in my anus and it all goes to hell. So yes, we should have done it before now but we haven’t. That led to both laziness and creativity, including breakfast for dinner and dinner for breakfast. It is now Sunday and 5yo is heading to school tomorrow while I try to keep the big boys occupied and not complaining about the lack of fresh food. Because really, that is the going concern right now – the fresh stuff. We’re out of fruit except for 2 aging mandarin oranges, and some canned things that the boys refuse to eat unless they are baked into something and then lied to about the contents of, whereas we usually have apples, pears, bananas and a whole bag of aging mandarin oranges.
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So we undertook a food cataloging activity and there’s actually heaps of food that 5yo can take for lunch tomorrow, and provided that I actually do some baking, there’s heaps of food that the rest of us can eat as well. And everyone knows better than to complain about eating eggs at every other meal now that the birds are putting out in earnest again. At the very least I have bought myself a day and maybe I go shopping with two out of three antagonists tomorrow and if not, the I take them all to Costco and bribe them all with new books. Frankly, that’s not the end of the world, and if it is? Then there is always our emergency cache of canned oranges and 2 minute noodles.

Pulling A Few

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Wasn’t it cool when Homer J. got his picture in the dictionary for the vernacular phrase of “Pulling a Homer”. Not a question, it was cool. Well, I’m adding another: pulling “a husband”, not to be confused with pulling my husband, etc and laughs. Examples include but not limited to:
Burning tongue on toast that just came out of the toaster, which is, in fact, a mini oven
Burning entire mouth on food thst just came out of an actual oven
Losing things but not really losing them because I didn’t look properly in the first place
Looking everywhere except at the object which is in fact right there, Right There RIGHT THERE in front of me

Feel free to add further examples to the list for posterity.